In mark 9 there is a story about a boy who is possessed with a spirit...and his father approaches Jesus asking Jesus to remove the spirit. At a point in the exchange, the man says, I believe, help my unbelief. That's how I feel now. Everyone seems to be so excited about my life, everyone except me. I believe the Word of God and I know it is relevant to my life. I try to remind myself that God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I can ever imagine according to his power that is working in me...but life keeps clouding my view. I feel like my life is an accident waiting to happen.
Sometimes when I drive in the rain, a truck will cut me off and in addition to the rain falling on my windshield, the truck will cause more water to rise up and obstruct my view....and for a moment, it's really scary because I can't see what is in front of me. That's how I feel right now. I'm on a journey to a place that I've imagined and it's so awesome. My life is fulfilled and I'm a blessing to everyone around me. I'm not struggling and I'm living in the overflow. And that place I've imagined is 1000 times worse than what God has in store for me! But for moments, that seem like forever something big gets in front of me...money problems, job rejections, disappointment, etc...and that big thing unleashes a whole mess of drama that further fogs up my faith goggles.
The sad part is, I saw the truck coming in my rear view mirror, but I wanted to believe that he would keep driving right passed me. It was the only beneficial option...unless I sped up. But speeding is wrong....I wish trucks weren't on the road (you know what I mean). But they are. I believe. I want to be excited about my life and excited about what God has in store for me. I believe, because I've come really far in life.
God continually proves Himself faithful in my life. Strengthening me when I am weak, providing for me even when I don't realize I'm in need, loving me unconditionally, keeping me safe. Renewing me...He's so amazing. I know if it were not for Him I'd be in a bad place right now. But at the same time I am doubting...
I Believe Help My Unbelief Lord Jesus.
That truck is going to continue down the road and before I know it the windshield wipers will clear my view. The rain will eventually stop. The rain always stops and the sun shines into my life. I believe. I believe. Lord thank You for proving Yourself faithful in my life. I'm reminded of Job who was tested but did not falter. Lord help me to keep my faith in You and demonstrate that faith through my daily walk. My actions...my thoughts...my words Lord. Lord bless me to use discernment when listening to advice and comments from outsiders, You use people in our lives, but Satan does too. I rebuke Satan's plan for my life in Your precious name Jesus. Remove the evil spirits from around me...I speak healing and prosperity onto my life. I believe. Thank You for being you Father. Thank you for loving me.
