Nothing I ever did matters....

I worked my last day @ sears yesterday, and as I collected my belongings and clocked out a bittersweet thought lay rest in my mind, "wow, 3 years and none of it matters". My last day…partially my choice partially insensitivity…at least I feel that way! In retail, the phenomenon known as black Friday commences the day following Thanksgiving and they want "all hands on deck". Last month I requested the weekend following thanksgiving off because I plan to visit my family and friends (♥♥♥whom I rarely see since I live in another city, do not own a vehicle, & they don't visit me♥♥♥). Anyway…in the past my employer granted me those days off…but no such thing this year. So I talked with the store manager and he said, "If you don't show up, then you won't have a job." I replied, "Oh well, I guess this is my last day." (Not with an attitude….somberly with a bit of shock) To which he said, "I'll tell Shirley [the HR lady]." So this happened @ the beginning of my shift; the news partially relieved me because most days I hate being @ Sears so went about my day (busy bee as always)…Now most people may have left @ that point (what would you have done?) But I did think.

"Dang, 3 years and because I won't come in one day none of it matters?" I protect my time and the first thing I think when something goes wrong is, "All that time I put into it is just gone now…" When a friend lies to me…when a boyfriend mistreats me…when my job passes me over for a "better position"…etc… And I thought about Ecclesiastes chapters 1 and 2 (which you should not read if you are upset or depressed!)….everything is meaningless. And I ALMOST got upset!

Then I said to myself, "But this is a job…they base how they hire on past performance, so why don't they base how they treat you on past performance?" But I thought about how when we do bad things, we don't want it to matter. Think about when a significant other brings up a past mistake…what's the first thing we utter "that's in the past…I said I was sorry….etc…" The fact of the matter is, yes it's in the past but the consequence (a loss of trust, a broken heart, etc…) still remains. So @ that moment my employer needed me to do something, and even if I was a stellar employee (which I wasn't perfect…I occasionally missed the mark) I couldn't do what was asked of me in that moment and the consequence was that I can't work there anymore. When we wrong each other a dismissal could follow suit. I am free to choose what decisions I make, but I am not free to choose which consequences I will accept.

Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Next, I thought, "Maybe my past performance isn't so great.L"

This past week we had a hard freeze advisory, in which the weatherman said people should bring all plants and animals inside. Even if up to the point of the advisory we took PERFECT care of our plants and animals, if we failed bring them in during the bad weather, then those plants and animals could very well die. If we failed to do that ONE thing…we could lose those plants or animals…

Finally, I looked @ myself in that moment: Feeling slighted, seeing some of my coworkers upset about the situation, maintaining a good attitude, not complaining, not leaving, honoring my commitment to that day and working just as hard as I usually would. So I thought to myself, "Nothing I did in the past matters! Thank God!"

Either way…I'm excited that I don't work at Sears anymore! But now I have to think of something productive to do with my free time. Any suggestions?

Be Careful What You Ask For (Hurricane Gustav Blog)

My power is out and I'm actually a little excited (I'm on a little out of town hiatus for my family reunion). Last month, my light bill was so high. And I was upset, because I am rarely home. I ride the bus and have 2 jobs. Clearly my water heater and fridge use a lot of electricity, or Brother Man (from Martin) comes through my window when I'm not home and uses my electricity and cable…I had to laugh; I said to God, "You have a funny way of answering prayers." My light bill may be none existent next month! Praise the Lord from whom all blessings flow. This thought reminded me of that old saying, "be careful what you ask from, because you just might get it." Before you think you know what I mean read on…That saying made me think about Matthew 7-11.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Whenever people tell me to be careful what I ask for, I always say that God knows my heart. I know God knows when I am frustrated and He knows what I really mean no matter what I say. More importantly I know God knows and has what's best for me. Matthew reminds me that if I ask my mom for bread or meat, she gives it to me! She doesn't give me something that will hurt me and my mom is imperfect! My mom is a human who misses the mark occasionally. If even my imperfect mother knows how to give good gifts to her child, oh hallelujah, how much more does my perfect God have in store for me? Some of you may be frustrated because something or someone took something away from you; you may even be upset because you THINK someone is withholding something that was rightfully yours (shoot I am, just to be honest. Those of you who talk to me regularly know my issues, please continue praying for me in those matters), but just remember that God knows how to give good gifts and if you ask for something he won't try to trick or hurt you.

This Little Light of Mine (Hurricane Gustav Blog)

Friday morning the light of my cell phone served as my beacon. After spending a week sleeping at my place of employment a coworker drove me home to confirm my suspicions, Hurricane Gustav knocked my power out. Frustrated with spending nights curled up in ball on a hard floor amidst endless hustle and bustle, I decided to sleep at home anyway.

I took a cold shower (electric water heater) praising God for running water, cleaned up a little, and lie down to rest with no plan of how to get back to work in the morning. I woke up and called a coworker who graciously agreed to pick me up.

Now as you may imagine, the power on my entire block (and several neighboring blocks) is out, which means no street lights. So I stood outside waiting for my chariot. I noticed a truck driving down the street slowly, as though it were lost, so I said t myself, "Maybe that's Andrea." I immediately called her on my cell phone and asked if she was driving a truck. It was her! So I held up my cell phone and waved it to signal her, and she saw me. I didn't even tell her I was waving my cell phone, she instinctively followed the light! This excited me immensely! It reminded me of the song we all know and love, "This little light of mine".

Take a minute to hum it. The song says, "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...every where I go, I'm gonna let it shine. In my neighborhood, I'm gonna let it shine."

What if I decided to stand there and panic, or jump up and down? She would have never found me. Scripture says in Matthew 5:14-16 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." We all have a light. Light can also become ineffective. How? By being hidden and light is meant to be seen so that we can see.The purpose of lighting a lamp was so everyone could see.Hiding your light defeats the purpose of light.Therefore, you would be abusing light! Back in the day cities were usually built on top of hills and could be seen for miles there's no way to hide a city on a hill (unless you destroy it). I don't want my light destroyed nor do I want my light abused so when I see someone lost or in distress I plan to wave my little light light crazy to point them in the right direction!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

--Marianne Williamson--

"...pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up"

I am up a little early and a little upset. Without going into too much detail, some people who I thought should be there for me weren't....the thing I needed was so simple and no one tried to give it to me. But that seems to be the story of my life...anyway So in my frustration I was thinking..."do I really need people?" The world tells us we don't...but what does God say. The first scripture that came to mind for me was Ecclesiastes 4:10 "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"...

Pity the fool!

Those of you who know me, know that I love words so let's look at the word pity...pity implies tender or sometimes slightly contemptuous sorrow for one in misery or distress. So a man who doesn't have anyone to help him up is in misery or distress! (***1***I typed an entry from the international standard Bible encyclopedia below)

let's cuddle

Anyway Ecclesiastes goes on to say "Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?" I don't think Solomon is only talking about body heat...but let's talk about keeping warm. I like to cuddle...(lol, let's just throw that out there, but stay on track guys). Hugging a pillow, or even a blanket isn't the same as cuddling with another warm body. You get warmer faster. We generate something more by being close to others. Whenever I work in a group I feel something special...the work seems to go faster, and most times it doesn't even seem like work...we churn up love, loyalty, energy...we spark new ideas, it's magic. And no matter who holds on the tightest everyone is putting in equal parts to get things heated...lol. IDK...I could be off track but that's how I see it.

looking out for who?

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." When two or more people commit to one another, , we have greater protection. People tend not to bother groups. We see this in school...the bully picks on the nerd (for lack of a better term) who sticks to himself, not the clique....

I don't know...the bottom line guys is that technically, all we need is God, but, God works through the body of Christ to build up and strengthen us....he sent the disciples in twos...he said that it is not good for man to be alone and gave Adam his Eve...working and being with others builds us...it builds us even when it tears us down...so I guess I do need people (which I knew...but just needed some comfort and confirmation)....***shrug***

***1***"Pity," probably contracted from "piety," is tender feeling for others in misery or distress. It is allied to compassion, but differs in respect of the object that causes the distress. The feeling of pity is excited chiefly by the weakness, miserable or degraded condition of the object; compassion by his uncontrollable and inevitable misfortunes

You Dirty Tax Collector!!!!

Something very silly, that I won't mention has be conflicted. Those of you, who know me, know that I have the tendency to get inside my head and over think things....lol...but I'm thinking maybe if I get this out it will be better.

Now the Bible says in Luke 17:3-5 "So be careful how you live. If your brother offends you, take him to task about it, and if he is sorry, forgive him. Yes, if he wrongs you seven times in one day and turns to you and says, 'I am sorry' seven times, you must forgive him. And the apostles said to the Lord, 'give us more faith.'"

The definition of offend is: to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in…The KJ version says "trespass"…which means to miss the mark. So I'm guessing in relationships there are expectations (a bulls eye, so-to-speak) and when we become irritated, annoyed, or angered a mark has been missed. This is just my thinking (if you disagree that's fine)…So when this happens you are supposed to talk to that friend about it. I tend to tell myself that even when someone upsets me, it's not that big of a deal and I can just get over it. But here in the Bible it doesn't say get over it…it says talk to your friend about it! And the Bible doesn't say if your friend immensely offends you….so like "sin" against God, sin against one another is not categorized. A sin is a sin, is a sin…Now once you talk to your friend your friend can choose to apologize…and at the point you forgive the person. If you "get over it" and don't talk about the offense, are you robbing your friend of the forgiveness the word says we all deserve? Or is it water under the bridge, and gone forever? IDK And what happens if your friend does not repent? Well let's go back to the word…

Matthew 18:11-14 "If your brother sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that 'every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.

So at this point you take a couple of people with you…this part always confused me, but it's based on the Old Testament.

Deut 19:15." One witness alone shall not take the stand against a man in regard to any crime or any offense of which he may be guilty; a judicial fact shall be established only on the testimony of two or three witnesses.

In other words you bring in a neutral party…finally it says tell the church. Here church refers not to the entire church of Jesus, but to the local congregation. In the end it says if he refuses to listen then treat him like a Gentile or tax collector. Back in the day, Jewish people avoided the company of Gentiles and tax collectors.

To be honest in many of my relationships I skipped the first couple of steps and unintentionally moved my friends into the "tax collector" category! Sometimes I just complete one step but my words come out wrong. You know how that is…things are said in the heat of the moment…and thought the words may be true they aren't said in a receptive way…. Colossians 4:6 says Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Today I'm resolving to take the Bible steps of conflict resolution! And I want to encourage you to do the same thing, because it is a big deal and you never really get over it if you don't 'deal with it.

So I guess that silly thing that I won't mention isn't so silly and needs to be mentioned! If I start mentioning things to you my friend, I'm just doin what my Daddy said to do…J

We Fall Down?

Today I wore my "Louisiana's Victory Run" Chi Alpha shirt...The Louisiana Victory Run is where a group of students run onto, and around the football field with a huge Louisiana State Flag prior to all ULL home football games. It took about 30-40 people to run with the flag. The first time I did it, I planned to bring my little sister along, but at the last minute she backed out because she said that she was scared that she would fall. Apparently, that's why a lot of people didn't do it. I NEVER thought about falling! Not once! That kind of reflects my general take on life. When I decide to do something I don't think about falling. Many people had fallen participating in the Victory Run...some had gotten rope burn from the handles of the flag... (Can you imagine falling participating in the victory run? People could literally run all over you!)When I decided that I wanted to participate, I didn't ask anyone how they liked it or to tell me about their experiences; I just signed up and showed up! See, I get these ideas and jump right into them and never once think that I'll be unsuccessful. In some aspects that sounds good because it shows that I have confidence and faith. The unfortunate part is that in life sometimes I do fall, and when I do, it feels horrible. I mean it nearly devastates me; no one has probably ever seen me devastated because I put on a brave face in front of others...But maybe it wouldn't be so devastating if I thought about falling before I signed up...Things to think about would be, what will I do in the case that I do fall...I could talk to others who have taken on similar feats...I could pray for comfort before I reach that point where I my emotions overtake me...IDK Just thought I'd share that with you. So next time you decide to take that run realize that falling is a real outcome and make yourself a contingency plan! Think about falling but don't dwell on it.....

You Dirty Tax Collector

Something very silly, that I won't mention has be conflicted. Those of you, who know me, know that I have the tendency to get inside my head and over think things....lol...but I'm thinking maybe if I get this out it will be better.

Now the Bible says in Luke 17:3-5 "So be careful how you live. If your brother offends you, take him to task about it, and if he is sorry, forgive him. Yes, if he wrongs you seven times in one day and turns to you and says, 'I am sorry' seven times, you must forgive him. And the apostles said to the Lord, 'give us more faith.'"

The definition of offend is: to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in…The KJ version says "trespass"…which means to miss the mark. So I'm guessing in relationships there are expectations (a bulls eye, so-to-speak) and when we become irritated, annoyed, or angered a mark has been missed. This is just my thinking (if you disagree that's fine)…So when this happens you are supposed to talk to that friend about it. I tend to tell myself that even when someone upsets me, it's not that big of a deal and I can just get over it. But here in the Bible it doesn't say get over it…it says talk to your friend about it! And the Bible doesn't say if your friend immensely offends you….so like "sin" against God, sin against one another is not categorized. A sin is a sin, is a sin…Now once you talk to your friend your friend can choose to apologize…and at the point you forgive the person. If you "get over it" and don't talk about the offense, are you robbing your friend of the forgiveness the word says we all deserve? Or is it water under the bridge, and gone forever? IDK And what happens if your friend does not repent? Well let's go back to the word…

Matthew 18:11-14 "If your brother sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that 'every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.

So at this point you take a couple of people with you…this part always confused me, but it's based on the Old Testament.

Deut 19:15." One witness alone shall not take the stand against a man in regard to any crime or any offense of which he may be guilty; a judicial fact shall be established only on the testimony of two or three witnesses.

In other words you bring in a neutral party…finally it says tell the church. Here church refers not to the entire church of Jesus, but to the local congregation. In the end it says if he refuses to listen then treat him like a Gentile or tax collector. Back in the day, Jewish people avoided the company of Gentiles and tax collectors.

To be honest in many of my relationships I skipped the first couple of steps and unintentionally moved my friends into the "tax collector" category! Sometimes I just complete one step but my words come out wrong. You know how that is…things are said in the heat of the moment…and thought the words may be true they aren't said in a receptive way…. Colossians 4:6 says Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Today I'm resolving to take the Bible steps of conflict resolution! And I want to encourage you to do the same thing, because it is a big deal and you never really get over it if you don't 'deal with it.

So I guess that silly thing that I won't mention isn't so silly and needs to be mentioned! If I start mentioning things to you my friend, I'm just doin what my Daddy said to do

...we’ve become a generation of overly sensitive people who refuse to tolerate anyone

I want to know, am I the only person who thinks that there are way too many rules? I just ran across an article that said there is a new "no standing rule" for Kansas City Chiefs games…being a football fan this really bothered me.

The whole reason I go to football games is to be in a crowd of standing yelling fans…It makes the game good for me. I don't understand people just sitting down…especially the entire time. I mean if I can't see the game, I'll just stand up too…lol…I love to see people excited and smiling and laughing. Some may think the fan "obstructing my view" is ruining the game for me…but me being upset that someone is excited about the event is what is ruining the game for me. That's a metaphor for life. LOL you hear that saying it's not what happens to us, but how we respond. Now if I need special concessions, most stadiums make those available.

I guess rules like this are inevitable. It's like we've become a generation of overly sensitive people who refuse to tolerate anyone.

OMG and who can forget the "sagging pants" ordinances. OF all the problems in the world you CHOOSE to be offended by someone else's choice of dress? How silly is that?

No talking in movies. I realize I may lose a lot of you with this one. But I think "no talking in the movies" is a silly rule. You can always see the movie again in 2 weeks when it's on video! But you can't get that experience back. I love to hear people's comments and jokes…I love to make them too!? In the end it's just a movie… Who cares if you didn't hear that last line? Who cares if a baby is crying? That's what babies do! LOL Thank God babies can cry as to alert us when they have a problem…and thank God that the parents decided to take time out to do something for themselves.

I want to encourage you to change your attitude about other people's actions…everyone who stands up in front of you or steps on your foot isn't being inconsiderate…I'm sure no one is bringing their baby to church or the movies so they can cry and annoy you (do you know how much daycare/babysitters are?)…not everyone who's cell phone rings in class left it on purposely to disrupt your education…lol

Lighten up people!

...we’ve become a generation of overly sensitive people who refuse to tolerate anyone

I want to know, am I the only person who thinks that there are way too many rules?

I just ran across an article that said there is a new "no standing rule" for Kansas City Chiefs games…being a football fan this really bothered me. The whole reason I go to football games is to be in a crowd of standing yelling fans…It makes the game good for me. I don't understand people just sitting down…especially the entire time. I mean if I can't see the game, I'll just stand up too…lol…I love to see people excited and smiling and laughing. Some may think the fan "obstructing my view" is ruining the game for me…but me being upset that someone is excited about the event is what is ruining the game for me. That's a metaphor for life. LOL you hear that saying it's not what happens to us, but how we respond. Now if I need special concessions, most stadiums make those available. I guess rules like this are inevitable. It's like we've become a generation of overly sensitive people who refuse to tolerate anyone. OMG and who can forget the "sagging pants" ordinances. OF all the problems in the world you CHOOSE to be offended by someone else's choice of dress? How silly is that? No talking in movies. I realize I may lose a lot of you with this one. But I think "no talking in the movies" is a silly rule. You can always see the movie again in 2 weeks when it's on video! But you can't get that experience back. I love to hear people's comments and jokes…I love to make them too!? In the end it's just a movie… Who cares if you didn't hear that last line? Who cares if a baby is crying? That's what babies do! LOL Thank God babies can cry as to alert us when they have a problem…and thank God that the parents decided to take time out to do something for themselves. I want to encourage you to change your attitude about other people's actions…everyone who stands up in front of you or steps on your foot isn't being inconsiderate…I'm sure no one is bringing their baby to church or the movies so they can cry and annoy you (do you know how much daycare/babysitters are?)…not everyone who's cell phone rings in class left it on purposely to disrupt your education…lol

We Fall Down?

Today I wore my "Louisiana's Victory Run" Chi Alpha shirt...The Louisiana Victory Run is where a group of students run onto & around the football field with a huge Louisiana State Flag prior to all ULL home football games. It took about 30-40 people to run with the flag. The first time I did it, I planned to bring my little sister along, but at the last minute she backed out because she said that she was scared that she would fall. Apparently, that's why a lot of people didn't do it. I NEVER thought about falling! Not once! That kind of reflects my general take on life. When I decide to do something I don't think about falling. Many people had fallen participating in the Victory Run...some had gotten rope burn from the handles of the flag... (Can you imagine falling participating in the victory run? People could literally run all over you!)When I decided that I wanted to participate, I didn't ask anyone how they liked it or to tell me about their experiences; I just signed up & showed up! See, I get these ideas & jump right into them & never once think that I'll be unsuccessful. In some aspects that sounds good because it shows that I have confidence & faith. The unfortunate part is that in life sometimes I do fall, & when I do, it feels horrible. I mean it nearly devastates me; no one has probably ever seen me devastated because I put on a brave face in front of others...But maybe it wouldn't be so devastating if I thought about falling before I signed up...Things to think about would be, what will I do in the case that I do fall...I could talk to others who have taken on similar feats...I could pray for comfort before I reach that point where my emotions overtake me...IDK Just thought I'd share that with you. So next time you decide to take that run realize that falling is a real outcome & make yourself a contingency plan! Think about falling but don't dwell on it.....