I worked my last day @ sears yesterday, and as I collected my belongings and clocked out a bittersweet thought lay rest in my mind, "wow, 3 years and none of it matters". My last day…partially my choice partially insensitivity…at least I feel that way! In retail, the phenomenon known as black Friday commences the day following Thanksgiving and they want "all hands on deck". Last month I requested the weekend following thanksgiving off because I plan to visit my family and friends (♥♥♥whom I rarely see since I live in another city, do not own a vehicle, & they don't visit me♥♥♥). Anyway…in the past my employer granted me those days off…but no such thing this year. So I talked with the store manager and he said, "If you don't show up, then you won't have a job." I replied, "Oh well, I guess this is my last day." (Not with an attitude….somberly with a bit of shock) To which he said, "I'll tell Shirley [the HR lady]." So this happened @ the beginning of my shift; the news partially relieved me because most days I hate being @ Sears so went about my day (busy bee as always)…Now most people may have left @ that point (what would you have done?) But I did think.
"Dang, 3 years and because I won't come in one day none of it matters?" I protect my time and the first thing I think when something goes wrong is, "All that time I put into it is just gone now…" When a friend lies to me…when a boyfriend mistreats me…when my job passes me over for a "better position"…etc… And I thought about Ecclesiastes chapters 1 and 2 (which you should not read if you are upset or depressed!)….everything is meaningless. And I ALMOST got upset!
Then I said to myself, "But this is a job…they base how they hire on past performance, so why don't they base how they treat you on past performance?" But I thought about how when we do bad things, we don't want it to matter. Think about when a significant other brings up a past mistake…what's the first thing we utter "that's in the past…I said I was sorry….etc…" The fact of the matter is, yes it's in the past but the consequence (a loss of trust, a broken heart, etc…) still remains. So @ that moment my employer needed me to do something, and even if I was a stellar employee (which I wasn't perfect…I occasionally missed the mark) I couldn't do what was asked of me in that moment and the consequence was that I can't work there anymore. When we wrong each other a dismissal could follow suit. I am free to choose what decisions I make, but I am not free to choose which consequences I will accept.
Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Next, I thought, "Maybe my past performance isn't so great.L"
This past week we had a hard freeze advisory, in which the weatherman said people should bring all plants and animals inside. Even if up to the point of the advisory we took PERFECT care of our plants and animals, if we failed bring them in during the bad weather, then those plants and animals could very well die. If we failed to do that ONE thing…we could lose those plants or animals…
Finally, I looked @ myself in that moment: Feeling slighted, seeing some of my coworkers upset about the situation, maintaining a good attitude, not complaining, not leaving, honoring my commitment to that day and working just as hard as I usually would. So I thought to myself, "Nothing I did in the past matters! Thank God!"
Either way…I'm excited that I don't work at Sears anymore! But now I have to think of something productive to do with my free time. Any suggestions?
