Till Death Do We Part?

I find it difficult to peruse my circle of associates (friends and family) and find many successful marriages. A close friend claims that his disillusioned marriage and divorce remains the only solution to resolve this travesty! His decision upset me because I see this as a cop out. But while I pondered his decision I thought to myself, maybe “til death do we part” has nothing to do with staying married. Marriage, the act, is an outward expression of an inward feeling (similar to baptism). So til death do you part, means til death do you part even if the law says that you have terminated your legal duties and responsibility to that person.

I believe when people divorce each other, they turn their covenant relationship into bondage. Religious circles term this idea, a soul tie. A soul tie is the knitting together of two souls that can either bring wonderful blessings or dreadful destruction.

Wonderful blessings: promote or contribute to happiness promote a condition, circum stance well-being, or prosperity.

Dreadful destruction: promote or contribute to sadness, discomfort, or deprivation

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 It's better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, but if there's no one to help, tough!

Divorce hits your pockets. One must contend with filling fees, attorney fees, lost property, and etc…Now instead of sharing finances the money the two of you earn will be split between two households. Rent/mortgage for one will usually be cheaper than rent/mortgages for two. Divorce changes personal relationships. Aside from the obvious change in your relationship with your spouse and members of your spouse’s family, divorce often means changes in your relationships with other people as well. Some of the people you have considered friends for years may now view you as wrong because oftentimes friends feel the urge to “choose a side”. Every time you meet someone new it will come up that you are divorced and that new person will wonder what happened. To some a divorce adds a vice to your column. Divorce hurts children. The child in many cases cannot live a stable life because he/she moves between parents oftentimes hearing the insensitive inconsistent remarks made about either parent from family and friends.

After I came to this conclusion, I read the marriage vow.

I, take you, (name), to be my [husband/wife], my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

This generic promise describes the unconditional love we should all have for each other especially our friends. The only difference is that we don’t have ceremonies substantiating our friendships and associations. Whether we talk to each other for the remainder of our natural lives or not, we remain eternally bound to one another. Every person, friend or foe, we have come into contact with shaped us into the person we are today. They are in our lives in the form of our reactions and predispositions. Some people deem this as “baggage”. We are forever bound due to an unspoken vow to be with each other, until death do we part.